Decisions. Bigger, smaller, easier or harder. We face them every day, but some of them are especially hard. Those which lead us to go out of our comfort zone. Those which push us out of what we know and what is safe for us. I am sitting now in Aarhus and I writing this article with a feeling that a big decision is made. We are planning to move out from Denmark…
How come we are moving out from the happiest country in the world ?(Well, let me correct – the most content country).
Well, last years I have been discovering what I really want, what is important for me and where I can express myself the best. Therefore I realized I want to work with people, coach them and share my knowledge. Denmark unfortunately has been limiting me (generally speaking) and I cannot study at the University anymore, therefore Poland was my answer (shortly speaking).
I am writing about it, because I know that many people are stuck in the situation which they are not the most happy about and perhaps because it gives us some sense of safety, maybe financial security. Denmark is definitely a country which gives sense of financial security and things work here, but at the same time, it is really hard to be an equal member of this society (from the expat perspective). Comparing to polish culture, people in Denmark are cold and it takes a very long time until they open up, if it ever happens.
For me, feeling as a part of community is very important and it’s hard to feel so here.
Coming back to the decisions – how did I discovered what I really want in life?
It has been a long journey of trial and error. Trying out different jobs, professions, working in different countries and cultures. During this time I have been observing what I am good at, what I like doing and what gave me a sense of fulfilment. The last one is very important for the motivation. When you work full time and you don’t see the meaning in it, then you can burn out very quickly.
Therefore, selv observation is soooo important, especially when you are in your twenties or therties and you are shaping yourself.
I kept asking myself questions as
- What is really important for me in life?
- What are my values?
- How do I want my life to look like in 5, 10, 20 years?
- How do I want to be remembered?
- How can I connect my passion and my professional competences?
- Where do I feel most free ?
- What is giving me a sense of fullfilment?
- What is giving me the meaning of work, of life?
Answers to those questions are not very obvious, you will meet many doubts and you might not be sure, if it is the right answer. Therefore keep coming back to those answers and check up, if they resonate with your true you.
Then, before making a decision, try to live for a few days, as it was made. Observe, how you are feeling, what does this decision give to you. If it feels good and if you feel grounded in the decision and it resonates with you, make it. If not, ask yourself why it doesn’t feel good, is it something significant? Is it crashing with your values?
Don’t wait too long with making a decsion. Remember that doubts are normal when you make a change. Change is always hard, but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t good for us. We are naturally longing for something what is known and safe.
When you make a decision, remember, there will be always some small doubts. Just don’t let them mislead you.
You can also use a simple model of pluses and minuses of a decision. If you want to go pro, use a business model called SWOT – strenghts , weaknesses, oportunities and threats. In strenghts ask yourself – is this decision using my strengths? In weaknesses – are you doing something which will improve your weak sides? Can you do something to do so? In opportunities – write down which opportunities does the decision give you. In threats – which threats it can bring.
I want to wish you courage in making decisions.
Listen to yourself and what do you really need and make decisions which resonate with you and your values.
Discover your values and live along with them. If you loose motivation, lack energy – it might be a sign that you need to make some decision. Make it consistently and go on with it, don’t look too much back. As many quotes say – you regret mostly decisions which are not taken. From those which you take, you can be happy about or just learn from them.
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